Tag Archives: self-esteem

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BEING PRESENT TO WHAT REALLY MATTERS

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We have become so far apart from who we truly are, busy chasing happiness out there, that as they say ‘we are so busy making a living, that we have forgotten how to make a life’.

Life is short and it’s very precious. We have no idea when we will leave this world. So it’s crucial that we go back to our timeless nature often enough, so not to loose track of what really matters.

Just think for yourself: how much quality time do you spend with your parents? How much quality time do you spend with your children? Are you able to really be present to them when you see them? Or are you somewhere else? Thinking, worrying, looking at the watch?

Ask yourself. Is it possible to chase happiness? Is it possible to be happy by postponing happiness for tomorrow, next day, the weekend, the holidays, retirement?

As much as they try to sell us happiness in every ad, there is only one way to find true happiness: by cultivating it at each moment.

Or else we are just engaging with momentary pleasures: I will have a sleep in today, have a little massage tomorrow, have a nice meal with a glass of wine. They are all transient, they give us pleasure, but do not really satisfy our inner thirst, and leave us wanting more.

Our inner thirst can only be satisfied by spending time alone each day. Going back to who we truly are, reconnecting with our timeless nature.

And most of all: learning how to appreciate it.

Ask yourself: why am I so afraid of stopping the doing, the thinking, the planning?

Is it possible that we have removed ourselves so remotely from whom we truly are that we now feel: I don’t know that person anymore, why would I sit in silence with him/her, this stranger? I will get bored out of my wits!

So it’s time to learn how to love ourselves once more: sit there in silence, rejoicing just in how precious life is, how precious this human body is, how much potential I have as a human being, and letting go of all the negativity we hold against ourselves, just let those thoughts fly out, do not follow them.

We have been so well conditioned to value ourselves for what we do and achieve in the material world, that we have forgotten the most important part of ourselves: our inner world.

Without getting to know ourselves intimately: our sorrows and pains, our joys and things that truly bring a smile to our face; we will not find peace of mind or lasting happiness.

And maybe when our kids grow up and we will see the same in them, we will then suffer in double.

So find time to read inspiring books each day. Read one story before meditation each night.

These books have individual chapters/stories that you can read in a few minutes:

Peace is every step, by Thich Nhat Hanh

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Wherever you go, there you are, Jon Kabat-Zinn

Have a great week.

with metta,

Ana

 

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DISCOVERING YOUR HOME

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USING FENG SHUI TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR EMOTIONS

If someone asks you how well you know your partner, or your child, it might sound like a rude question. We believe that we know the people close to us very well, but do we really?

Our relationship with our home is another very important and intimate relationship in our lives that we often take for granted.

How deep is your relationship with your home? Do you know the feel of every part of your home – all the nooks and crannies?

When I run space clearing sessions with my clients we go around each wall of the home, mindfully, rethreading the energy of the home, reuniting and moving that energy so it can flow again. Sometimes this is the most powerful aspect of the session: reconnecting with each part of the home again, in mindfulness.

Here is an exercise for you to check how connected you are with your home.

Take your time to go around the home along each wall of each room being present to what is there, being very mindful: open and non-judgmental. Notice when an unpleasant feeling arises in your body when you arrive in a certain corner, maybe tightness in the throat or stomach. And notice the pleasant feelings also when you see an inspiring picture or photograph or a perfectly arranged corner. Be also mindful of the emotions that appear with those primary feelings in the body: grief, sorrow, regret, maybe frustration, or happiness, joy. The more open and honest you allow yourself to be, the more clarity you will receive from this exercise.

Now think of a room or corner that you felt uncomfortable in. Walk to that uncomfortable place, take a seat there and be fully aware, fully mindful of the physical feelings in the body and the emotions arising from it.

What are the memories that come associated with those feelings and emotions? Write them down. Then you repeat to yourself gently for a few minutes: I accept these feelings and emotions in my body; I accept this part of my home. Do it for a few minutes. Then let unconditional love arise in your heart: think of a young child or animal and allow that love to arise in your heart. Become aware of your heart softening and opening, allow the love to fill your entire body. Now share that love with the space around you: visualise the love from your heart pouring from your body and filling the space around you. Continue for a few more minutes. Now write down what this experience has brought to you: any thoughts and emotions, clarity or insight.

Now think of a room or corner that you felt happy or joyful in. Walk to that part of the home, take another seat there. Again become aware of the feelings arising in the body. What are the emotions associated with these feelings? What are the memories that arise with those? Just be mindful of the feelings, emotions and memories that arise for a few minutes, then write those down.

Now notice the contrast between the first part and the second part of the home. Why did they make you feel quite different?

In mindfulness practice we say that we can only change that which we understand and know really well. The things we push away and deny cannot be changed. In the same way it is only by being fully present and open to our negative habits that we are able to change them, it is only by being fully open and accepting the problems in our home that we will be able to change them.

Awareness is always the best gift we can give ourselves: it frees us from our established and fixed ways of looking at the world and allows us the freshness and clarity to find new and exciting solutions for our old problems.

 

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GOOD FENG SHUI IMPROVES SEL-ESTEEM AND CREATES GOOD MENTAL HEALTH HABITS

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A few times I have come across some people that, although they present themselves well, their home is in a state of war: dirty dishes piled up in the kitchen, rubbish hasn’t been thrown out in days, every room is not only cluttered but messy beyond belief. And some of those were well-off families and not teens!

I believe we would all agree that self-neglect is not a positive thing. Most people I know make an effort to tidy their hair when they leave the house, or to simply wear clean clothes to work. But sometimes we only understand someone suffers from deep self-neglect when we walk into their home.

From the psychological point of view walking into a home that looks like a war zone it’s like sliding straight into someone’s subconscious mind: the self neglect, lack of discipline, lack of self-esteem, and lack of gratitude are yelling out on your face. So it’s quite distressing and I need a lot of compassion to deal with clients like that.

One of the things I am most passionate about in life is to bring awareness to everyone about a very simple, yet powerful fact: our homes represent ourselves. The same way a very messy and dirty home reinforces someone’s low self-esteem, having a negative effect in their health also, a home that is well looked after, de-cluttered and tidy will have a positive effect on their physical and mental wellbeing.

For a disempowered person, having a home that looks and feels good may appear an impossible task at first. However taking care of one’s home can be learned and will slowly help people with low-self esteem, or even depression, to start feeling more positive about themselves and the world around them. It will also help to unblock their creativity, so they can find easy solutions for what appeared to be a difficult task before, and they will feel more vibrant as the life force in their bodies will start to flow again as well.

I have had clients that six months after starting to take good care of their small flat, improved their relationship, lost weight, and started feeling more vibrant about life. So much so, that their landlord asked the flat back and they ended up moving from a mouldy, dark and below-the-street apartment to a water front, full-ocean-view one, that they could have never dreamed of affording before their consultation.

Feng Shui is a very simple and yet profound way of bringing lasting positive changes into people’s lives. And that’s what I love about it!